Welcome to the newest Layercake.net feature: Morning Crumb Cake. Tasty little crumblets of news to wash down with your morning coffee. We get up early (unless it’s today) and find the best of the web so you can start not working the moment you get to your office.

Rosie is so outies. Pool Party

Playboy model gets naked, news at 11. Mollygood

Fergie channels Boy George circa 1982. Popsugar

People’s 50 Most Beautiful people are still more beautifuler than you are. People

Ask a Ninja to pen tome. The sharp and deadly kind. Variety

Morning Ninja:

Ask a Ninja interviews Will Farrell and John Heder.

Ok let’s start this one off by saying we LOVE Amy WastedWinehouse. Her sultry smoky voice and soulful lyrics put the art in heartache. However, we can’t help but wonder if the song Rehab was written after an intervention at the MAC counter for her serious addiction to black eyeliner. Ok, we get it. It’s part of her signature and it totally works with the leaning- tower-of-Marge-Simpson behive she’s rockin’. Oh and her latest release is titled Back to Black. Coincidence? We think not.

Don’t try to say you don’t see the resemblance between Amy and the Layercake.net mascot, Romeo. They even have the same center highlight.

Romeo could not be reached for comment as he is currently checked in at Promises in Malibu for his serious addiction to MAC eyeliner.

The song that launched a thousand Britney rehab video spoofs:

Amy Winehouse-Rehab

A Britney rehab video spoof:

Get your own MAC eyeliner addiction: MAC Eyeliner in Boot Black.

Get Back to Black

Imagine how much better every movie starring Lindsay Lohan would be if Lindsay Lohan were not actually in said movie. Instead imagine Kate Mara in her place. The one exception would be Herbie Fully Loaded because it’s ass and nobody but David Hasselhoff should ever star opposite a talking car.

Listen, we don’t make this stuff up, we did our homework. Using a complicated algorithm which factors in the following ratings: overall likability (by us), talent, cuteness, ew factor and slut-o-meter rating we determine the always accurate LBF or Layercakedotnet Betterness Factor. The results were astounding!

So, that in depth analysis sums it up. As you can clearly see Kate Mara is far superior to Lindsay Lohan. And I’m quite certain that if Kate Mara were in a film starring Jane Fonda and the two of them did a few press photos to promote the film that Jane Fonda would not have to pose as such:

Learn more about Kate Mara on her IMDB page.

Watch. Rinse. Repeat.

Catch Jim Gaffiigan on tour. We have. He is pure genius. With frosting.

Hello and welcome to our newest feature, The Happy Weekend Lazy Blog Entry. Little cupcakes of amusement to make your weekend a bit more enjoyable.

And now for your viewing pleasure we give you Nora, the Piano Playing Cat. This is kinda bluesy so you might want to dim the lights and pour yourself a nice glass of bourbon.

Golden Lasso of Truth. Check. Keys to invisible jet. Check. Lancome lipstick in Super Hero Red. Check. Cocktail napkin with phone number of Aquaman’s hotter, younger brother written in Super Hero Red lipstick. Check.

Yes that’s correct, you just read the check list of items you might find in Wonder Woman’s purse. Her invisible purse. To go with her invisible jet. And now, you too can have a purse that is pointless invisible. And it’s made out of plastic. And it costs $895.

The $895 Oscar de la Renta Plastic Bag

We can’t make this stuff up. Here is an ad for another style of the invisible (although some would call it transparent) purse.

And in case you can’t imagine in your not invisible brain what your stuff would look like if it were say…in an invisible bag just hanging out for all the world to see…here is a more-sophisticated-than-a-stick-figure drawing of stuff hanging out for all the world to see.

Hey look, Wonder Woman is totally checking something out from high above in her invisible jet. What could it be?

Could it be Aquaman’s younger, hotter brother’s invisible canoe parked on the shore below…Tune in next week when Wonder Woman totally hooks up with Hollow Man.

In true Hollywood form the Anna Nicole biopic race is on! Variety is reporting that Willa Ford is set to play Anna in the first of what we’re sure will be several biographies about the ill-fated model and reality star. We’re guessing the writers were waiting for the DNA results before they could pencil in the last few pages of the script. Certainly the Lifetime Movie Network can’t be far behind and will crank out a mediocre made-for-tv drama as soon as Meredith Baxter-Birney can put on enough weight to play the role of Virgie Arthur.

p>

The biopic featuring Willa Ford which begins shooting next week, will be directed by Keoni Waxman whose IMDB plot keywords include “independent film” and “body in trunk”. You may remember Willa from all of the movies she has never starred in or from the Lingerie Bowl or Dancing with the Stars. Ok so she’s never done a movie but her pop hit from 2001 titled I Wanna Be Bad has been in several films including Dickie Roberts-Undercover Child Star, What a Girl Wants and Undercover Brother. Is it a bad sign that Willa’s craptastic pop song has a more successful film career than she does?

Ok so it’s been brought to our attention that the last few posts have been focused on gun related kitsch. For some reason our readers in the UK have been particularly apt to notice this. So to make up for our violent streak we have this teaspoon of visual sucrose to offer.

Something so sweet it will give you a tooth ache.

Watch until the end for maximum sugar rush.

Why bust a cap in someone’s ass when you can bust out your 64-color bizzox of crizzayons and get busy in the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book?

If you are a gansta rapper, and we know you’re not, just remember this: Coloring in the Gangsta Rap Coloring Book is a great alternative to the also colorful but often messy and DNA laden act of shooting a rival gang member.

So the next time you feel the east coast/west coast vendetta thing coming on take a deep breath, turn that frown upside down, drop the gat and grab the Crayolas.

Remember when rap was more about getting a fly girl than about getting, um, dead?

Get your Sugar Hill Gang onnnnnnnn.

Yes we still remember every single word to this rap. And yes we roller skated to the fly beats, at Central Park in our rainbow tube sox and roller skates with yellow wheels. And yes there was a baby blue satin jacket involved. Foxy.

Lock ‘n load, sister!

Straight from the Quentin Tarrantino School of Design or maybe it’s from Suck UK.

Short on table space? No need to worry this bad boy is also available as a wall vase.