Over the weekend, Australian researchers reported that Dads’ parenting styles have a major influence on childhood obesity.

The researchers found that fathers with permissive (no limits on their children) or disengaged parenting styles were more likely to have overweight or obese children, while fathers with a consistent (clear limits, following through with instructions, etc.) style were less likely to have children with a higher body mass index (BMI).

According to the study Moms are totally off the hook.

There was no association between the mothers’ parenting styles and children’s weight, said the study authors from the Centre for Community Child Health (CCCH) at the Royal Children’s Hospital, Melbourne, and the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute.

We declare these findings erroneous on all counts. And in no way should the fact our first tiny cupcake memory of sharing a meal with Papa Layercake involved mini chocolate cream pies be considered evedentiary support for this fuzzy science theory.

Just because those researchers have a bunch degrees with Ps and Hs and Ds doesn’t mean they are correct. Our equally qualified Layercake.net Super Scientiferific Department of smartypants researchers has debunked this Bad Dad theory. Our findings, based on decades of latchkey kid research prove that the real cause of childhood obesity is insufficient amounts of cartoon parenting.

We submit to you, the readers a gathering of some of the finest cartoon parenters ever assembled in one place.

Mr. C Monster, while not a cartoon, was still a nutrition crusader who found great success with his famous campaign for moderation. His program encouraged children the world over to participate in his 2veggies for every 1 cookie Nutrition Ratio System.

Mr. Time F. Timer PHD, of the world renowned Hanker for a Hunk of Cheese theories, spread his ground breaking research via self-narrated cheese advocacy videos.

Underground science team known as the Bod Squad were leaders in the “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day” crusade.

The cartoon parenting movement struck a nerve with condiment manufacturers when “Don’t Drown Your Food” propaganda was distributed in the name of nutrition. Shortly after this clip was released its star mysteriously disappeared. It is rumored the last appointment on his calender was with a Mr. H. J. Heinz.

Tune in for our next segment of Why TV Parenting Rules when we’ll tackle grooming habits with our special guest, Mr. Yuck Mouth. Here’s a clip: