Porn and the 4th of July go together like..well actually they don’t really go together at all. But fireworks manufacturers (manufacturi?) see the connection quite clearly and they’re making lots of not so subtle attempts to point it out.

Unleash the double-entendres! Top 9 Pornographic Fireworks

#9- Hard Core- Need we say more? This one is touted as a “finale repeater”, guess that comes in handy for the money shot(s).

#8 Big Balls- Doesn’t this one have it’s own genre? Note the warning on the front of the box: Caution emits showers of…

#7 Motor Mouth- What? Don’t act like you didn’t think it too.

#6 Sex Goddess- Totally high maintenance, usually seen hanging around the set with #3

#5 Big Package- If you’re into that sort of thing. Check those measurements, is that even legal?

#4 Bangtastic- 19 shots in one bang. You could shoot all night without a break, but that might be against union rules.

#3 Nymphette- She’ll make you see stars. In the sky, you know ’cause it’s the 4th of July. Seriously, wtf?

#2 Riding Hard- We would have called it Little Red Riding Hard but whatever.

#1 The Big O- We suggest lighting a bunch of these at once: you know, like multiple.

Just remember, always play safe with fireworks and other er…explosives.

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