Maybe we found this video exceptionally hilarious because it reminded us of the very first time we played Grand Theft Auto. After a quick trip to Best Buy we excitedly popped in the game disk and got started. With no real concept of the game but a huge desire to skid around the dark and gritty streets in a really fast car, we walked around the town feeling clueless looking for an ATM and a car lot so we could by a car. After several days spent walking around various neighborhoods and few trips to the pawn shop, we decided to press pause and make a phone call to a friend with a fifteen year old son who we knew was a huge GTA player to ask about the location of the ATMs and where we could purchase the things we needed to get around in the game. Apparently we were taking the wrong approach as we were told that there are no ATMs in Grand Theft Auto and that if we wanted to obtain a vehicle that we should “just jack one from somebody.” Oh, now it’s clear, apparently our lack of “go to” criminal instincts was costing us dearly in the game. So maybe that explains why this video of a Kinder Gentler Grand Theft Auto seemed perfectly logical to us. Maybe we should just stick to playing The Sims.

Is it us or does the voice sound kind of like Danny Tanner from Full House?

<p><em>There is embedded content here that you cannot see. Please <a href="http://www.layercake.net/2008/05/25/conan-obriens-kinder-gentler-grand-theft-auto/">open the post in a web browser</a> to see this.</em></p>

Share This

So here’ s a look at the “leaked” promo for the CW’s Beverly Hills 90210 spin off cleverly named 90210. By now every time you read the word “leaked” anywhere,  you should just automatically think “press release”.  The first thing we noticed about the new show is that the core cast of kids is smaller than the original cast.  Maybe that’s because the parents will have larger roles in this new version, kind of an OC-ish twist. That should be an interesting spin but we’ll still miss the solid and wise parenting skills of Jim and Cindy Walsh. Jim and Cindy could make you thankful for being grounded. As is par for the course with any new series aimed at upcoming hipster ‘tweens, the new 90210 will usher in a new wave of trendy tot names for the next generation of followers. Will the names Dixon and Silver sweep the toddler playgrounds the way Brandon and Dylan did in the late nineties? Only series renewal will tell.

Share This

In the ever expanding arena of Reality television farewell phrases we thought we’d heard it all. You have your standard goodbyes, the nice catchy farewells we’ve all grown accustom to over multiple seasons:

• Project Runway’s harsh and insulting “You are out”
• The Bachelor’s most dramatic”Ladies if you did not receive a rose please say your goodbyes”
• Donald Trump’s bossy “You’re fired” from the Apprentice.
• Big Brother’s landlordish “House guest you’ve been evicted”
• Top Chef’s piercingly polite “Please pack your knives”
• Survivor’s familiar “You need to bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken”
• Rock of Love’s crushing “Your tour ends here”
• Blah blah blah leave, go now, don’t look back etc etc.

Well last night reality TV sunk to a new low with Farmer Wants a Wife now airing on the CW Wednesdays at 9. Each week contestants will find out whether or not they made the cut by performing some task deemed sufficiently farme-esque by the show’s producers. This week the ten ladies vying for the heart of tan-tastic washboard ab sporting Farmer Matthew were alerted to their spouse searching status by lifting a chicken from its roost to see if there was an egg underneath. If you get an egg, you get to stay. Yes, that loud cluck was the sound of reality television shedding its last shred of dignity. We kid, we kid, reality television never had any dignity to shed.

We’re so excited for next week where the potential wives find out their status by playing bingo! And there will be pigs! This has us convinced that the producers just dial the See ‘n Say to come up with the challenge of the week. Next week on Farmer Wants a Wife: This is a cow…Mooo.

Share This

Not only is Natalie a total stalker, she’s kinda major in the Mensa community. Uh huh.

Share This

Holy log cabin lovin’! For the first time ever in Big Brother history (phrase trademarked by Julie Chen) Big Brother is bringing the gossip, backstabbing and hookups to the first quarter. Oh yes, it’s Winter in the Big Brother House. This season’s big twist is hook-up-tastic! CBS, the grand daddy of old school networks has finally figured out that sex sells (like a lot) and rather than setting the scene for just one or two hook ups, they’ve laid the ground work for multiples! Pun totally intended. The contestants most of whom are single have been set up with another contestant who CBS deems their “soul mate”. These new couples will compete as one and this season’s evictions will come in pairs. Why wait a few weeks for the implants to start flopping and the margaritas to kick in when you can put people in bed together from day one! It’s a recipe for porn mayhem!

Two twists have been planted in the house in the form of a current real life couple who have been paired with others and have managed to keep their relationship a secret and a not so secret pair of exes who were miserably paired with one another.

Here’s Julie Chen talking to David Lettermen about the upcoming love fest that is Big Brother 9. Hey, lay off the Dutch!

Season 9 Cast Photos:

The log cabin love shack in all its sleepaway camp glory.

Your eyes do not deceive you, those are row boat beds.

The backyard, hey where’s the hot tub?

Two words: Log. Furniture. It’s a set designer’s dream, isn’t it? Ew.

At first we were excited when we saw the library but upon closer inspection you can see that the books are FAKE. I guess real books would break the no exposure to outside media rule? We want to see a smart version of Big Brother, like Big Brother where all of the contestants are former Jeopardy champions. Big Brain Brother!!!!!

And just like last season you can watch the after hours under blanket rustling on Showtime’s Big Brother After Dark.

Share This

Yes it’s true we have been posting nothing but television for the last several days but hey, it is Fall. Plus, tv takes the sting out of the hours we spend doing homework. It’s really like a homework chaser, a delicious shot of yum in a sea of lecture note filled binder paper. And with the help of Tivo we can be drinking by 8am.

Drinking by 8am doesn’t feel so bad when you’re not alone. For company, just watch our absolute favorite cocktail on the tube these days where they do it all the time: AMC’s Mad Men. It’s the best show on TV. And we just heard that it’s been renewed for another season. You must watch this show. The sets are phenomenal, it’s so fun to see all of the retro furniture clothing. Love it! Set in the 60’s the show follows a group of advertising executives who work on Madison Avenue and smoke more than we thought humanly possible. It stars Jon Hamm, John Slattery, Rich Sommer, Elisabeth Moss, and a particularly endearing January Jones. Try to catch it on OnDemand if you have it, original episodes air Thursdays at 10pm.

January Jones as Betty Draper, homemaker and wife of Don Draper.

Hotness, Don Draper

Have a look.

Share This

Episode 1 of ANTM at 8 and we can’t wait! We have turned into big time gambling types and are participating in an enormously complicated bet contest to see who can pick the winner. Our pick is Kimberly. Hopefully she isn’t an ass and won’t make us regret our selection.

Who’s your pick?

Share This

Cindy Lou Who is all grown up!

Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who and as Jenny Humphrey in the CW’s new series Gossip Girl, based on the enormously popular ‘tween lit series.

She should eat a sammich.

Share This

If you love Californication as much as we do, than this should make you happy. According to Variety, Showtime has renewed Californication, the sextastic look at the inner musings of a Hollywood writer done wrong played subtly and with tons of bad boy charm by David Duchovny.

7 Sexy Reasons to love Californication:

1- David Duchovny as Hank Moody the reluctant blogger for HellA magazine who frequently marinades in self loathing and gets more sex each week than Ron Jeremy did on an average work day in 1979.

2- Hank’s still pining for his ex-not wife, Karen played by Natascha McElhone and he breaks out his best jr high behavior to try to bring down her current relationship. All in the name of love, of course.

3- Dysfunctional Hank is an endearingly clumsy father who really tries his best to be a good dad to daughter Becca. Just look away during the awkward scenes where his prepubescent offspring finds herself face to face with Hank’s naked, post coital conquests. Becca is played by Madeliene Martin who gets the awkward crush laden teen role just right while chaneling her very best Emily the Strange look.

4- Hank Moody gets in fist fights. In book stores. Who does that? And who doesn’t secretly want to watch?

5- Sex. Lots of sex. No seriously, unabashedly frequent amounts of sex. Hot sex.

6- Not so blind item? You’ll find yourself wondering which “fictional” characters aren’t so fictional.

7- Evan Handler as Hank’s best friend and sharky agent. Remember Evan from Sex in the City? He brought sexy bald back and now he’s hanging around with Hank rocking the much more devious bad boy role quite nicely. Think The Secretary meets Jerry Maguire. We love it!

Are you sold?

Share This

Another in the long series of Layercake.net photoshop works of art catastrophes!

New characters?

Margene on Barb’s last nerve?

Rhonda and Roman sittin’ in a tree… Ew.

Share This