CBS may have ended its Swingtown Summer time romp without the promise of a new season but the dream of more Swingtown is still alive. If you didn’t get a chance to see this 70′s set drama that stars Grant Show, Molly Parker, Lana Parilla and Jack Davenport as  a pair of neighbors who happen to be swingers, now’s your chance.  Bravo has picked up the series and is currently airing all 13 episodes in a delicious retro-tastic marathon filled with more Tab than you can possibly consume in a lifetime.

Gratuitous photo of Tab:

This show is worth a watch if not for the well written characters and salacious story lines than for the impeccably duplicated 70′s sets and groovy soundtrack. If you’re a fan of MadMen

then you will probably love Swingtown. In fact dare I say that the story lines in Swingtown actually move forward and are more compelling than some of the meandering to nowhere stuff that MadMen has offered up in its sophomore season.

For laughs, here’s a separated at birth of Katie Holmes on Eli Stone and Lana Parilla as Swingtown’s resident hottie Trina Decker. Looking at this makes me want to go feather my hair and drink some Tab.

Well if Bravo takes a pass maybe HBO— now in the capable hands of Sue Naegle who was one of the original Swingtown promoters during her turn as co-head of the television department at United Talent Agency— will welcome Swingtown with open arms. Swingtown really is a great fit for HBO. The more flexible format would allow the storylines to move into even more adult territory. So in summary, watch the show, write to Bravo and HBO and let’s save Swingtown.

Photo Source (Tab): Derek In Sydney

Is it us or does the voice sound kind of like Danny Tanner from Full House?

Update: the video was pulled from our original source so now just click the image to watch the hilarious Conan-ness on Hulu. Click. Click. Laugh. So worth it.

Next season we’re going on strike unless the only person on the poster is noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker. In fact unless Nigel plays the host, the runway coach, the jaded former supermodel (first or otherwise) and all of the contestants, we’re just not going to watch.

For now though we’ll suffer through the unrecognizable wannabe Oprah that is Tyra Banks, surrounded by her minions vying for yet another unremarkable career as America’s Next Marginally Successful Model. In case you’re planning on watching, Cycle 11 begins September 3rd on the Gossip Girl Channel — er, we mean the CW network.

In the ever expanding arena of Reality television farewell phrases, we thought we’d heard it all. You have your standard goodbyes, the nice catchy farewells we’ve all grown accustom to over multiple seasons:

• Project Runway’s harsh and insulting “You are out”
• The Bachelor’s most dramatic”Ladies if you did not receive a rose please say your goodbyes”
• Donald Trump’s bossy “You’re fired” from the Apprentice.
• Big Brother’s landlordish “House guest you’ve been evicted”
• Top Chef’s piercingly polite “Please pack your knives”
• Survivor’s familiar “You need to bring me your torch, the tribe has spoken”
• Rock of Love’s crushing “Your tour ends here”
• Blah blah blah leave, go now, don’t look back etc etc.

Well last night reality TV sunk to a new low with Farmer Wants a Wife now airing on the CW Wednesdays at 9. Each week contestants will find out whether or not they made the cut by performing some task deemed sufficiently farme-esque by the show’s producers. This week the ten ladies vying for the heart of tan-tastic washboard ab sporting Farmer Matthew were alerted to their spouse searching status by lifting a chicken from its roost to see if there was an egg underneath. If you get an egg, you get to stay. Yes, that loud cluck was the sound of reality television shedding its last shred of dignity. We kid, we kid, reality television never had any dignity to shed.

We’re so excited for next week where the potential wives find out their status by playing bingo! And there will be pigs! This has us convinced that the producers just dial the See ‘n Say to come up with the challenge of the week. Next week on Farmer Wants a Wife: This is a cow…Mooo.

Holy log cabin lovin’! For the first time ever in Big Brother history (phrase trademarked by Julie Chen) Big Brother is bringing the gossip, backstabbing and hookups to the first quarter. Oh yes, it’s Winter in the Big Brother House. This season’s big twist is hook-up-tastic! CBS, the grand daddy of old school networks has finally figured out that sex sells (like a lot) and rather than setting the scene for just one or two hook ups, they’ve laid the ground work for multiples! Pun totally intended. The contestants most of whom are single have been set up with another contestant who CBS deems their “soul mate”. These new couples will compete as one and this season’s evictions will come in pairs. Why wait a few weeks for the implants to start flopping and the margaritas to kick in when you can put people in bed together from day one! It’s a recipe for porn mayhem!

Two twists have been planted in the house in the form of a current real life couple who have been paired with others and have managed to keep their relationship a secret and a not so secret pair of exes who were miserably paired with one another.

Here’s Julie Chen talking to David Lettermen about the upcoming love fest that is Big Brother 9. Hey, lay off the Dutch!

Season 9 Cast Photos:

The log cabin love shack in all its sleepaway camp glory.

Your eyes do not deceive you, those are row boat beds.

The backyard, hey where’s the hot tub?

Two words: Log. Furniture. It’s a set designer’s dream, isn’t it? Ew.

At first we were excited when we saw the library but upon closer inspection you can see that the books are FAKE. I guess real books would break the no exposure to outside media rule? We want to see a smart version of Big Brother, like Big Brother where all of the contestants are former Jeopardy champions. Big Brain Brother!!!!!

down in the valley dvd

And just like last season you can watch the after hours under blanket rustling on Showtime’s Big Brother After Dark.

Who’s your pick?

Taylor Momsen as Cindy Lou Who and as Jenny Humphrey in the CW’s new series Gossip Girl, based on the enormously popular ‘tween lit series.

She should eat a sammich.