According to Page 6:

ELLEN Barkin, who was so hot and bothered in “Ocean’s Thirteen,” might be getting some relief with Ralph Fiennes. Late Sunday night, our spies caught them at the Mercer, “holding hands and cuddling before going up to his room.” A week earlier, they had been “full-on making out,” also at the hotel.

Makin’ Out

UPDATE: We’ve changed the embedded game to a link to a game because we were starting to hum the song in our sleep. Click the pic to be transported away to Paris’ new office.

It’s web linking Wednesday, the round up everything you need to know in order to maintain your cool kid status. That and a nickel should get you into the Kevin Federline Fathered My Baby club, ’cause it doesn’t take much. Get your link on.

America breathes a collective sigh of relief as Aniston has someone new to warm the sheets. People

Shar Jackson invites Kevin Federline back to the spermination lair and hits the jackpot! The Superficial

Kelley Clarkson drops it like it’s hot. FemaleFirstUK

Katherine McPhee officially hotter than Vegas. Electronic Cerebrectomy

The Hiltons are gonna party like it’s 38 days from now Us

Eddie Murphy gives MelB another dose of his DNA HollywoodRag

Katie Holmes gets all Pete Wentz with her hair A Socialite’s Life

Kathy Hilton and Barbara Walters walk into a bar. . No actually they were talking on the phone together, probably talking smack about Rosie, when Paris clicks over on the other line. Paris, realizing that in Barbara she has an opportunity to tell the world how much she has changed in two days, calls Babs collect from jail.

According to ABC News this is what she said, and now we totally get it! She has changed!

“I’m not the same person I was,” she said. “I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me. I know now that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new chance.”

“My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail.”

“God,” she said, “has released me.”

We are totally into the whole spiritual rebirth, people can change thing, but the only thing Paris could have changed in 3 days is her underwear. Oh wait, not her underwear, she doesn’t wear underwear. Ok well you get our point, 3 days of sulking and learning how to read does not a reformed pantie-shunning party heiress make. This change smacks of insincerity and we’re not buying it. Paris may have learned a few things by reading the Cliff’s notes to a few spirituality books but she’s no genius.

Things Paris may have learned from her stay in jail thus far:

1) No panties and polyester not a good combination.

2) Pinkberry and Vodka are not officially USDA sanctioned parts of the Prison Food Pyramid

3) Wants to play a judge in the next Simple Life series.

4) Lee Baca, totally on permanent payroll Christmas list

5) Orange is so not the new black.

Are you buying it?

Read On, it’s crazy!!!
The AP reports:

A Screaming Paris Hilton Sent Back to Jail

Hilton was taken from a courtroom screaming and crying Friday seconds after a judge ordered her returned to jail to serve out her entire 45-day sentence for a parole violation in a reckless driving case.

“It’s not right!” shouted the weeping Hilton. “Mom!” she called out to her mother in the audience.

Hilton, who was brought to court in handcuffs in a sheriff’s car, came into the courtroom disheveled and weeping. Her hair was askew and she wore a gray fuzzy sweatshirt over slacks. She wore no makeup and she cried throughout the hearing.

Her body also shook constantly as she dabbed at her eyes. Several times she turned to her parents, seated behind her in the courtroom, and mouthed, “I love you.”

She had been brought to court in sheriff’s custody today for a court hearing on her early release from jail after back-and-forth decisions on whether she could participate by telephone from her home.

Hilton, appearing to be in handcuffs, cried after she was placed into a black-and-white patrol car, which sped away from her home with lights flashing as news helicopters pursued, broadcasting live TV coverage.

The car carrying her disappeared into the courthouse’s underground parking lot, avoiding a swarm of news media, and her parents then arrived.

In the hearing, which began at late morning, a judge was to listen to the city attorney’s complaint that the county sheriff did not have the right to reassign her to electronically monitored home detention after only three days in jail for violating probation in a reckless driving case.

UPDATE: Here’s what the Sheriff who let her out, Lee Baca, has to say.

“It isn’t wise to keep a person in jail with her problem over an extended period of time and let the problem get worse,” Baca told the Los Angeles Times on Thursday.

“My message to those who don’t like celebrities is that punishing celebrities more than the average American is not justice,” Baca said.

Hmm we didn’t know that Sheriffs were actually Justices in disguise.

Mr. Judge is rather irritated with Sheriff Lin Baca who released Ms. Hilton from jail yesterday and Paris is due back in court at 9am Friday! She is so going back to jail. Rash or no rash. Maybe they’ll let her bring her La Mer.

Ms Hilton was sent home under house arrest Thursday, the judge who put her in jail for violating her reckless-driving probation ordered her into court to determine whether she should be put back behind bars.

Read on..

Don’t bring the Bentley, we’ll totally give you a ride!

Hilton must report to court at 9 a.m. Friday, Superior Court spokesman Allan Parachini told The Associated Press.

“My understanding is she will be brought in in a sheriff’s vehicle from her home,” Parachini said.

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer issued his order after the city attorney filed a petition late Thursday afternoon questioning whether Sheriff Lee Baca should be held in contempt of court for releasing Hilton on Thursday morning.

The shit is hitting the fan!

She was ordered to finish her sentence under house arrest, meaning she could not leave her four-bedroom, three-bath home in the Hollywood Hills until next month.

“What transpired here is outrageous,” county Supervisor Don Knabe told The Associated Press, adding that he received more than 400 angry e-mails and hundreds more phone calls from around the country.

Hilton’s return home gives the impression of “celebrity justice being handed out,” he said.

City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo complained that he learned of her release the same way as almost everyone else — through news reports.

Someone is going down like a cheap pair of socks over this one.

“It is the city attorney’s position that the decision on whether or not Ms. Hilton should be released early and placed on electronic monitoring should be made by Judge Sauer and not the Sheriff’s Department,” said Jeffrey Isaacs of the city attorney’s office.

Sauer himself had expressed his unhappiness with Hilton’s release before Delgadillo asked him to return her to court. When he sentenced Hilton to jail last month, he ruled specifically that she could not serve her sentence at home under electronic monitoring.

Parachini said Sauer reminded the Sheriff’s Department of that when he learned Hilton was about to be released.

“He reiterated the terms of his sentencing order. He did not agree to the terms of release that the sheriff proposed,” Parachini told the AP before Delgadillo asked that Hilton be returned to court.

And now for the bitch slap!

But, Parachini said at the time, it is the sheriff and not the judge who decides when inmates are released from jail.

Delgadillo’s office indicated that it would argue that the Sheriff’s Department violated Sauer’s May 4 sentencing order.

All bets are in, she’ll be lunching in the yard by noon and we don’t mean the garden terrace at Ivy.

On-again off-again-on-again couple we never understood John Mayer and Jessica Simpson is off again. And the couple we totally thought would last Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are off again. Larry and Laurie David have announced their separation after 14 years of marriage . All this breaking up has us feeling a bit nostalgic for celebrity couples of the past. the ones that got away. Let’s reminisce, shall we?

Wow, blast from the past! Married in 1991 Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford split just four years later. Many speculated that their eighteen year age difference was to blame. That dress is so 1992!

Are we the only ones who thought Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt would get married and have kids together? Not to be, at least not with each other. They made a cute couple.

Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon split after three years together, according to Dillon, Diaz wasn’t ready to settle down. Hm. She’s just not that into you.

Madonna and Sean Penn split after a tumultuous 3-year marriage and in doing so, put an end to their rocky relationship with the paparazzi.

Click Read On to see more celebrity couples from the past and tell us who you think should get back together

Ok, most bizzareHollywood couple ever. Wonder if she ever listens to “Dear Ben”. It was embarassing to listen to even when they were together. He looks like Arm Candy in this photo. Jen has the Mars Attacks hair.

Ben and Gwyn. He’s big on that rhyming thing. Their post Brad-Gwyn relationship was the subject of much are they or aren’t they speculation. In fact personal photos of the couple together are rather difficult to come by.

The. Golden. Couple. Seriously never thought this would end and still totally want them to get back together. It’s a sickness.

Brad Pitt and Gwenyth Paltrow. The pre-golden couple. He’s such a morpher.

Truly didn’t see this breakup coming. A normal non-celeb guy seemed perfect for Sharon. So love this dress!!

They never had a chance with the reality show life style from day one of their marriage. Reunion? We’re not ruling it out. And we don’t think Jess has either.

The break up of Tom and Nicole seriously came out of nowhere. Let’s blame Penelope and her terminal hotness.

Oops he did it again. Cruz and Cruise. Actually they were pretty hot together. We love her.

Least surprising breakup ever. Twenty years her senior , the marriage between Angelina Jolie came in surprisingly long at three years. They split two months after Maddox was adopted, citing irreconcilable differences. Post divorce, Billy Bob Thornton famously and rather rudely unloaded to Esquire magazine “Sex doesn’t have to be with a model to be good. Sometimes with the model, the actress or the ‘sexiest person in the world’, it may literally be like fucking a couch.” Nice.

After eleven years of marriage and four children, Bruce and Demi split, amid rumors of infidelity. One of the saddest celeb breakups ever.

Pre-Demi, Ashton referred to Brittney Murphy as “his first wife”. Their intense romance began while shooting the atrocious Just Married.

First of all, who cheats on Uma Thurman? And secondly did this guy ever shower even once during their entire marriage?

Ryan Phillipe and Reese Witherspoon. This one came out of nowhere. We live for her. Hopefully the Jake Gyllenhaal thing will work out.

Ah, young love. Britney and Justin. They really were cute together.

Paris Squared. Paris and Paris. Hilton and Latsis. What pushed his parents over the edge, the sex tape or the Carl’s Jr commercial. Hmm.

Tell us in the comments who you want to see in volume II

Who should get back together? This is officially the our most ridiculously high schoolesque post ever. Having fun?

Citing an unspecified medical condition, she’s got the anklet and she’s on her way home! No WAY!!!! ANy guesses at the “medical condition”? I’m guessing she is having serious withdrawal from her sidekick. Or she’s allergic to orange.

AP Scoop:

Los Angeles- Paris Hilton was released from jail early Thursday due to an unspecified medical condition after serving only three days of a 23-day sentence. She was sent home with an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet and must remain there for 40 days, according to sheriffs spokesman Steve Whitmore.

Hilton checked into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood on Sunday night to begin serving time for violating probation. The 26-year-old hotel heiress surrendered with little fanfare after a surprise appearance at the MTV Movie Awards, where she worked the red carpet in a strapless designer gown.

“I am trying to be strong right now,” she told reporters at the time. “I’m ready to face my sentence. Even though this is a really hard time, I have my family, my friends and my fans to support me, and that’s really helpful.”

Hilton was housed in the “special needs” unit of the 13-year-old jail, separate from most of its 2,200 inmates. The unit contains 12 two-person cells reserved for police officers, public officials, celebrities and other high-profile inmates. She didn’t have a cellmate.

After her first night in jail, Hilton’s lawyer, Richard A. Hutton, said she was doing well under the circumstances. “She’s using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better and hopefully, in my opinion, to change the attitudes that exist about her among many people,” Hutton said after visiting Hilton.

When she was sentenced May 4, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled that she would not be allowed any work release, furloughs or use of an alternative jail or electronic monitoring in lieu of jail. Sheriff’s officials had said she would serve about 23 days of her 45 day sentence behind bars because of state rules allowing shorter sentences for good behavior.

Unbelievable. Comments?

We can blur! And clone! Not very well!

We gave Dina a bob, cause we couldn’t get the hair glued on properly. Uh yeah, cause there’s so much glue in Photoshop.