This is a weekend of theatrical redemption. After last week’s Pirates of the three-hours-of-life-stealing Caribbean, we are still a little gun shy, but willing to return to the theater with an open mind. The most exciting thing about this weekend’s openers is that none of them have III in the title. Admittedly none of the this weekends big bang openings are Oscar contenders but there is fun to be had and of course, popcorn.

If we had to pick just one, we would choose: Knocked Up

Popcorn Worthy: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Why: Almost the entire cast from the 40 Year Old Virgin is together again in this tale about a one night stand that turns into and baby makes three. We’d watch Seth Rogen in anything, he stole every scene in 40 Year Old Virgin and we’re so excited to see him again. He’s got that nerdy video game player hotness thing that we adore. Love him! Knocked up was written and directed by Judd Apatow from the 40 Year Old Virgin writing team. Yes, please!

Trailer:

Get tickets to see Knocked Up here.

1) We’re not in Canada

2) We don’t have tickets to the sold out Police tour

In fact we are ticketless for the entire tour. This is quite frankly, an outrage. Favorite. Band. Ever. That’s all we’re going to say about it.

Sting shows the crowd his tantric O face

Stewart Copeland, love his smile in this pic.

Walking in Your Footsteps in Vancouver, BC Monday night.

Seriously great footage from the Whiskey a Go Go show in February, where they officially announced the reunion tour.

Take the Scalper’s Delight poll:

[poll=6]

Now on to the Popcorn Friday lest ye matees not know what movie to be seein’ on this adventurous and treasure filled weekend..Arr..

Popcorn Worthy: Arrrghh.

Why: Even pirate fans fear the wrath of world’s end. We be makin’ our treasures safe by purchasing a ticket.

Watch the trailer: or suffer the wrath..

Lay yer eyes on the Layercake English to Pirate Translator and be ye prepared to leave yer comments in pirate speak!

Be visitin’ us again today or ye be walkin’ tha plank.. arrrr

Sheryl Crow and her new baby, Wyatt. He’s pretty cute. So happy for her.

Meanwhile, Lance Armstrong continues his collecting of relationships with blonds with clothing designer Tory Burch. Nah, he doesn’t have a type.

Is it even worth mentioning that there are other movies opening this weekend that don’t star a green ogre? While it’s true that Shrek is the only big box office movie opening, there are a couple of other gems out that are totally worthy of the popcorn.

So let’s get this out of the way:

Popcorn Worthy: Shrek

Why: Because feeling left out makes us cry. We also have a soft spot for Shrek’s babies, Shilo, Pax and Maddox.

Popcorn Worthy: Brooklyn Rules

Why: The mafia and college go together like cake and ice cream. Also hearing Alec Baldwin lose his temper makes us all warm and fuzzy.

Watch the trailah :

Popcorn Worthy: Even Money

Why: Alec Baldwin and Kim Bassinger both have movies opening this weekend. Oh now it’s war. You thought the whole child custody thing was ugly. It’s so onnnnnnnnnnnnnn (drag out the n, you know the drill). This film stars Kim Bassinger (ew) and Danny Devito and the plot sounds a little like the Prestige meets Two For the Money meets When a Man Loves a Woman. Even Money also stars Forest Whitaker who cancels out the Kim Bassinger ew-factor which means that by default we will be there.

Watch the trailer:

Uber-Popcorn Worthy: The Wendell Baker Story

Why: We will probably see this twice and then buy the DVD and then spend the rest of our lives blissfully quoting the dialog.

Watch the trailer: loldogs: Run, Jr., run for your life.

The Bad boy Wilson brother:

The thinking woman’s Wilson brother

Here are a few of the cinematic delights and disappointments for Friday May 11:

Popcorn Worthy : The Ex

Why: Just watch the trailer. We cried from laughing.

Trailer:

Semi-Popcorn Worthy (if it’s raining and we lose internet connection): Georgia Rule

Why: We’re not huge fans of the Blohan but we adore Felicity Huffman. Are you seeing it?

Trailer:

Definitely waiting for the DVD : 28 More Days Minutes Ago Months From Now Weeks later

But here’s the thing, we don’t watch scary movies unless there is a cartoon chaser involved. So, 28 Weeks Later is off the list until we can watch it on the couch and follow up with the Sponge Bob Scary Movie Eraser episode before bed. Uh yeah, too scared to even put the poster on here. So we’ll just post this tiny much less scary link.

Bust out your suspenders, Gordon Gecko is back! WSJ reports Michael Douglas will revive the role in the sequel to Wall Street. The working title is Money Never Sleeps. Studio execs say that the role of Bud Fox played by Charlie Sheen won’t return. Uh yeah, the only way Bud Fox could return would be if he wanted to die. Gecko would be out for blood! NYT

And now, we present Gordon Gecko’s Shopping List:

$40 Water BlingH20

$1,000 Ice Cream Sundae. Luxist

$250k Handbag for Darian. Lana Marks

$8,000,000 car. Mercedes Maybach

$138,000,000 Zillionaire home, sweet zillionaire home.

The original trailer for Wall Street. Damn, it still looks good. Watch for the GIGANTIC cell phone circa 1987!

Donald Trump is a delusional ass. Shut up! No he’s not. He’s super sweet! DerekHail

Baby it’s cold outside. CribCandy

Puppies are cute and apparently they are also PR whores. The Daily Pup

Brazilian Not Wax. Strange new Products

Love your hair. Hope you win. Go Fug Yourself

The Ninja has a crush on us. If kind of naming a disease in someone’s honor is the equivalent of having a crush.

Rosie is so outies. Pool Party

Playboy model gets naked, news at 11. Mollygood

Fergie channels Boy George circa 1982. Popsugar

People’s 50 Most Beautiful people are still more beautifuler than you are. People

Ask a Ninja to pen tome. The sharp and deadly kind. Variety

Morning Ninja:

Ask a Ninja interviews Will Farrell and John Heder.